Last year one of my dearest friends Dave Doobinin flew from his home in New York to my house in California to stay with me while he was doing some work. While he was there, he made a short film about Featherweight. Actually he said he was going to make a film, and I figured he wouldn't have the time so I didn't prepare, or clean, or even think about it until the morning he said "OK let's do this." Normally I would never have wanted to be on camera, but I trust and love Dave so I went for it.
I think Dave is wonderfully talented, but after nearly a year I have been too mortified to share the film publicly. It's really hard to look at myself and hear myself talk, and I've honestly been embarrassed that my studio didn't look like the spacious, spartan, gleaming white studio spaces you see on Instagram. But now that I don't have studio space anymore, I miss my old messy studio (and it was really dark because he told me to turn the lights off!)
I've been thinking a lot lately about how far I've come with my own creative confidence -- basically from zero confidence to a little bit of confidence -- and how much inner work I had to do to get this far. It hasn't been easy but it has been so worthwhile, not in what I've made or sold but in how it has helped me increase my self-worth, how much more centered I sometimes feel inside myself. After a lifetime of self-doubt, finding even a little confidence has been an enormous relief. If I could ever help anyone else feel a little better inside themselves then this might be worth sharing.
After nearly a year, without further ado "This Is Something":
P.S. Dave is amazing, please hire him to photograph you or make a short film about something important to you. And if you want to talk about creative confidence, talk to me because I have a lot of thoughts on the subject!
